Monday, December 03, 2007

Snow day or I love Murray

I was inexplicably back in my old apartment in Sudbury, wearing babydoll pajamas, and having a stuffed-animal fight with George Stroumboulopoulos from The Hour, who was ducking and winging teddies and bunnies back at me while simultaneously trying to interview Kingsley Amis over the phone.

Which is a pretty good trick, considering he's been dead since 1995. (Kingsley, not George.)

(I think I need a boyfriend.)

Then, of course, the alarm clock went off. Five o'clock. I stumbled to the kitchen and put the coffee on. I'm teleworking today, since Leah and I both have doctor appointments this afternoon. I sure picked a good day to stay home. This is what it looked like earlier this morning. I can't see my driveway. Can you?

What you might be able to see, if you look carefully, is the plow ridge. I live on a corner. This is not an advantageous place to live during snowplow season. Plows turning the corner scrape up more snow than they do on a straightaway, and once they straighten out, incrementally more (or magnitudinally more) snow gets dumped across the end of your driveway than in driveways farther down the street.

I was standing at my front window with a coffee in my hand watching the snow falling and the chickadees at the bird feeder when the plow went by. It dumped 456 cubic metres* of snow across the end of my driveway. Not being satisfied with this, the driver backed up around the corner and plowed again, uncovering part of my lawn and depositing a further 1276 cubic metres of snow onto the pile (*all amounts are approximate). I was very visible in the window. He studiously avoided meeting my eyes as he slowly drove past. I sipped my coffee and resisted the urge to wave to him using only one finger.

In order to get to the doctor's later, I'm going to have to get the car outta the garage, down the non-existent driveway, over Mt. Plow Ridge, and out onto the nice clear street. This was a job for Murray. I love Murray. I can always count on him. All he asks is a drink of gasoline and a plug-in start, and he's good to go. Murray is my snowblower. Now, I'm Canadian enough to enjoy shovelling my driveway when it's a light couple of centimetres, but when it's a dumping and there's a plow ridge that hardens like concrete 5 minutes after it's been deposited, you pull out the big guns if you have them. And Murray is my big gun. See?

George is pretty hot and all, and probably pretty strong too. But I bet he can't clear a driveway like Murray.


  1. Anonymous2:13 PM

    I love George.

    I was going to complain about the snow and freezing rain, but you win. Hope you enjoyed your snow day.

  2. Anonymous2:14 PM

    Okay, the whole google thing threw me and I posted under anonymous....sorry

  3. I know it's a hassle to deal with, but your snow is just so beautiful!

  4. Jen - beautiful, yes. Hassle, yes. The trick is to still see the beautiful part. Thanks for reminding me. Wish you could bring G and E up and we'd do some tobogganning over at the hill.

  5. Anonymous5:51 PM

    The snow is lovely. Really.

    They don't even sell snowblowers here.

    When I saw the title of the post I thought you were talking about the Wiggles :-)

  6. Ummm... BUT I would like to be snowbound with George. Mmmmmm...

    We don't have enough of a driveway to be worth snow blowing. True to form. I finish, pull the car into it... plough come careening by...

    And I uttered a LONG string of expletives. (Much to the neigbours delight.)


  7. I admire you - doing your own snowblowing and all. I just can't seem to get the hang of it. I grew up in Southern California - you don't have to shovel rain. I play dumb and let my hunky hubby do it for me.

  8. My grandmother used to tell me to date a race horse but to marry a work horse.

    I'd stick with Murray...he may be short on conversation, but he's long on durability.

    Thanks for commenting on my blog. I look foward to visiting yours again soon.

  9. Anonymous7:47 AM

    does murray have a brother?

  10. LOL at Alissa for commenting about the Wiggles. Who did you choose in that little conversation anyway? Was it Captain Feathersword? Come on, confess!

    Looks like you got a little bit more than we did, but that's fine by me, I can't stand snow. And right now it's making it really difficult for me to walk (err waddle) my way from the front door to the driveway!

  11. Alissa and Briana - funny you should bring up the Wiggles. My Murray snowblower is red, and, as we all know, Murray is the red Wiggle. And, strangely enough, Murray was my choice in the 'If You Had to Do a Wiggle, Which One Would You Pick?' thread that Paula started on BOJ (It was Navy who picked Captain Feathersword, 'cause he came with his own sex toy, lol.

    Meanie - Yep, a guy called John Deere.

    Nat - Oh I muttered quite a few expletives under my breath. The girls were in the room or my volume would be louder

    Josie - freezing rain is much more hellish. I think we got off luckier than you

    Linda - if I had a hubby, you bet your britches he'd be the snowblower operator in the family. But there's just me, so I get to do it.

    Mrs. G. - Thanks for stopping by. Yes, Murray is short on conversation, and has a few too many sharp metallic parts to make him snuggly. You can't beat him for durability, as you pointed out, so I'm keeping him.

  12. Oh, I'm sorry... is it rude to wave with one finger to Mr.Snowplow? LOL!!!

    Ah, Canadian Winters eh?

  13. Mmmmm...George. Yum.

    I hate Mt. Plow Ridge. We bit the bullet and bought a snowblower (a used one, but still) because of the Plow Ridges. *sigh*