Thursday, November 20, 2014

Don't you wish you could have dinner with us?

Our conversation during dinner last night.

The actual speakers have been left unidentified so that you can appreciate that the weirdness is pretty evenly spread out amongst the three of us.

At Harvey's, a burger joint, having a quick bite before shopping for badly needed winter boots:

"'Hiving' is too a word."

"Well, OK, but not how you're using it. It doesn't mean 'having hives all over your body'. You can't say, 'Crap, I'm hiving today.'"

"Mum, is 'hiving' a word?"

"Yep, but it doesn't mean 'breaking out in hives', you can say something is hived off from something else, and it means 'separated out.'"

"Oh. I thought 'hiving' was a thing." [side-eyes her sister] "Like hearing something out of [breaks out the air quotes] 'the corner of your ear.'"

"'THE CORNER OF YOUR EAR' IS TOTALLY A THING!!! I looked it up on the Urban Dictionary. It's a thing. [calming down and becoming thoughtful] Though I did used to think toothpicks were called 'picksticks' and that's not a thing."

"That kinda makes sense though because mostly you stick them in cakes to see if they're done or to pick up things like cheese squares."

"It's not a cheese square, it's a cube. Three dimensions."

"Square, cube, same thing."

"No. It isn't. A square is two dimensional, a cube is three dimensional. If you ate the cheese, it's 3D. If you draw a square on a piece of paper, then it's in two dimensions --"

"But what about the pencil lead being left on the paper when you draw? It's a couple of atoms thick, so, three dimensional."

[rolls eyes] "Well, technically. [stops to regroup and launch new logic attack] OK, so how about a square drawn on a computer monitor in pixels?"

"Computer monitors are three dimensional."

[sighs] "But the surface of the computer monitor is a plane, so, two dimensional."

"I don't think so."

"Me either, I'm with you." [gestures at sister with a french fry] "I vote that it's still three dimensional."

"You can't vote on that. PHYSICS IS NOT A DEMOCRACY."

"Yes it is."

[dripping sarcasm] "Oh really. I don't care how many people vote, you can't stop gravity and levitate your butt out of that chair."

"Wooooo-ooooo-ooo!" [eerie noise accompanied by butt shimmying up and out of chair]

[explosive laughter]