Monday, September 08, 2008

Who will be the Goblin King?

From my dreams last night:

Give me the child country.

Beware. I have been generous, up till now. I can be cruel.

Generous? What have you done that's generous?

*Everything*! Everything that you wanted I have done. You asked that the child be taken there be affordable national childcare. I took him I gave parents 100 bucks per kid under six per month. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down (well, OK, I kinda reneged on that income trust thing, but what do you expect, I'm a goblin), and I have done it all for *you*! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous?

Let me rule you. I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave.

Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle Prime Minister's Office beyond the Goblin City to take back the child country that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great. You have no power over me. And seriously, does this look like October 2009 to you? Fixed election date? Please. Asshole.


Why these nightmares? Well, the writ dropped yesterday and it's election silly season north of the border now too. Oh yeah, and I watched Labyrinth three times over the weekend with the girls.

(Bowie is much hotter than Stephen Harper, by the way.)


  1. Anonymous11:44 AM

    Oh my, I had forgotten about Bowie's hair in the movie.

  2. LOL!!!
    Stephen Harper gives me the willies. His eyes are creepy and I swear he runs on a micro chip, not a beating heart.

  3. labyrinth is one of my fav movies. i have it on DVD. i get a little nostalgic sometimes and haul out the 3 DVDs that all fit so well together some weekends - Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal and Legend.

    and um.. his whole child care crap was a crock of shit cause my child doesnt qualify for child care unless i pay thru the nose. as soon as you say seizure disorder they close up shop.

    and that whole money per month under 6? i have always said its because after 6, they apparantly are supposed to be working in sweat shops and therefor dont need day care/sitters lol

  4. People, people, have you not been paying attention to the Harper propaganda machine? He's all warm and fuzzy now in his sweater vest and comfy armchair talking about his swell kids and tinkering on the piano. He's actually doing photo ops kissing babies. Be afraid. Be very afraid!!!

  5. I loved that movie -- got so distracted by Bowie I didn't even read the blog, so must go back!

  6. Jen - I love the hair. That and the eye make-up. It's kind of like Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow, it shouldn't be sexy, but it is.

    Josie - Yep, that sounds about right.

    Jobthingy - I'm sorry that you have had trouble finding daycare for your daughter. I have 2 daughters in daycare, and $50 won't pay ONE DAY let alone a month. Day care plan, my ass. BTW, those are all good movies!

    XUP - When I was googling images to find one of Harper, I kept finding this one pic of him in a sweater in an armchair CRADLING A KITTEN. An honest-to-God kitten. I don't know if I was more horrifed or amused. I woulda used it, but I wanted one of him facing to the left to echo Jareth in the real pic at the top of the blog. Oh, and I wouldn't have been able to put the cool hair on that pic as easily.

    Lori - It's all quotes from the movie, but Canadian Prime Ministerial candidates 'dressed up' as Sarah and Jareth, so it probably won't be as funny for you. But yes, I tend to get distracted by Bowie too.

  7. Ok. Alison, you've got the best lines I've seen yet. Just the best.

    Re day care - I still wished they'd given the money directly to the day care providers. Gawd only knows they deserve it. I've still got F-O-U-R kids requiring some sort of supervision. I got really, really, REALLY excited when #3 started school in August. My costs actually went down by a whole $200! (Though again, next year I'll be picking up bus pass fares ... so much for savings.)

    Sigh. Children. They seemed like such a good idea at the time.

  8. LMAO! Good photoshopping. (Thought the child care credit was $100?)

    Stupid friggen' election. I met Stephen Harper. He is much more alien-like in person.

  9. *clapping hands* can you do an obama/mcain one now? that was great!

  10. Anonymous7:58 AM

    I love your artwork :-)

    And, what meanie said!

  11. Mim - 4 kids. I can't begin to imagine your childcare bill. They'll seem like a good idea again when they start cooking dinner for you.

    Nat - I kinda wish I had Photoshop, but Microsoft Paint does the job just fine. And you're right about the daycare being $100 (I've fixed the post) - I guess because half of it gets clawed back at tax time. So to be fair, now that both girls are in full day school, Harper's 'gift' pays for one week a month's daycare. Until it gets clawed back come spring.

    Meanie and Alissa - I think I used up all my creativity on this one.

  12. LOVE IT.

    Also: I have ... sort of a ... thing for David Bowie. Started with this movie when I was 11 or 12 and my sis and I watched it allllll one summer long. Notice I said "have," as in current, present-day. Still. It's cool, I've made my peace with it.

  13. I don't know anything about Canadian Politics, but I really like the pencilled in hair & crossed out words loving hands at home approach. More pencil hair!