Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Random bitching about the Grey's Anatomy season nine premiere with annotated photos and charts -- because I'm a scientist, dammit

I wish I knew how to quit you, Grey's.

Because, seriously (hah! get it?  'Seriously'?? bwahahahaha), this disrespect for both the characters AND your viewers is getting old. 

Yeah, I'm talking to you, Shonda Rhimes.

I've watched this show for going on nine years.  I've turned a blind eye to confusing timelines, to outrageous medical acts that would never happen (cut LVAD wires, anyone?), characters disappearing with little or no explanation (Erica Hahn????), and the preponderance of disasters (ferry crash/shooter in hospital/giant sinkhole/plane crash/bomb in patient), because I really love the characters.

More than you do, apparently.

The send-off you gave Mark Sloan?  Not. Good. Enough. Seriously. Really.

Oh, it was sad.  And I cried and cried, like you knew I would.  Here he is on his deathbed with his two best friends beside him, Derek and Callie:


Richard, Bailey, Jackson and Ben are waiting somberly outside. 

But who isn't at his bedside?  Who should be at his bedside, if you really cared about the characters?


Well, let me see. Oh, how about....

A. Sloane, Mark's daughter, and her baby?  Remember them? 
B. Julia, Mark's plot-device, eye-surgeon girlfriend?
C. Addison, his ex-flame? 
D. I dunno, maybe his parents???

Maybe I just think way too much about this stuff.

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And now onto the next subject.  Geography or meteorology, or both.

(This is what happens when you ask a scientific editor, someone who cares about both consistency AND scientific accuracy, to suspend her disbelief.)

(Yes, it drives people who watch TV with me crazy.)

(No, I don't think I'll stop any time soon.)

During the season premiere, we got to visit Cristina at the Mayo Clinic, in Rochester, Minnesota:
  

Please note that she is wearing a winter coat under her scrubs, with a fur-collared hood (A).  Also present are blowing snowflakes (B). (Well, OK, I drew those in myself, but only because this is a screen capture from a video [the things I do for you people, it's a wonder I'm sane] and you can't see them blowing around in the photo like you can on the video.)  Shorthand: brrrrr, it's winter, it's cold.

During the same time period, we got to visit April at her parents' farm in Ohio:
  
Please note that she is in shirtsleeves (A) and next to some sort of blooming shrub (B).  Shorthand: mmmm, it's nice and warm and summer-like. (She also has a pig on a leash and appears to be channeling Heidi, but that's another discussion altogether.)

OK, let's look at a map now:


Rochester, Minnesota, is in the extreme southeast of the state of Minnesota, which puts it roughly 500 miles away from Ohio.  And not 500 miles due north from Ohio either.  So I find it very suspect that it's deep winter temps for Cristina and flip-flop weather for April, at the same time

The plane crash was up in the mountains.  Even at that elevation there was no snow -- and the doctors are in light jackets, so it has to be at least late spring or early summer, say May or June, when the crash happens. (Holy Cats! I do think way too much about this stuff!)


At that point in the year, I don't think you still get blizzards in southern MN.  Let's check out what the climate charts say. (Yes, it's official. WAY. TOO. MUCH.)



(Sorry, scientific editors love charts.)

The only thing I can think of is that the writers, who are probably all from L.A., looked at a map and said, "Hey, Minnesota is practically Canada, it probably snows all the time up there and is full of ice and goofy midwestern stereotype people."  Seriously, Truly, it's the only explanation.

And it's STUPID.

Is it stupid enough that I'm going to stop watching? Oh, hell no. I'm hooked. Despite my bitching, Thursday night will find me curled up on the couch as usual in my PJs with wine and good supply of kleenex.

I don't know how to quit Grey's. It's like Brokeback Hospital.


34 comments:

  1. I wish I watched Grey's Anatomy just so that each part of this fabulous post would totally make sense to me. That said, everything you pointed out has been pushed forth by Hollywood in many shows I have seen and IT DRIVES ME NUTS. So thank you for the charts and the scientific reasoning. I totally appreciate it.

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    1. You're welcome. I don't like having my intelligence insulted.

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  2. haha I stopped watching a few seasons ago for many of the reasons you have outlined (I'm not smart enough to realize the other reasons on my own!) I'm glad I don't watch it anymore because I would have had to cut you for the spoiler! ;)

    Meanie

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    1. But the premiere was last Thursday, so it's fair game and no longer a spoiler. Despite all the clumsy plot points and improbable couples, I will still watch. I am weak.

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  3. Okay, you're a little more rigorous than I am, but I tend to think the same way. Of course, the season premiere led to a mass Twitter declaration by pretty much everyone I know that everyone WAS quitting Grey's Anatomy, and I was like "wait, can't we continue to mock and disparage but STILL WATCH?"

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    1. I like your approach: watch, mock, and disparage. It kind of has the same ring as stop, drop, and roll. The wine helps with the mocking.

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  4. Just last night we were watching an episode of NCIS where there was a bikini contest. And yet the investigative staff was wearing warm jackets! And yes, we had to mention it and shake our heads :-)

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    1. I know, right? I don't like it when it doesn't make sense. Unless the bikini contestants were Canadians on vacation. Then it would make sense. Five years ago, my sister's family and me and the girls were in Phoenix in December. Every morning we were out around the outdoor heated pool. The grounds staff who were weeding the gardens were wearing jackets.

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  5. Judy K.8:54 PM

    Tim always tells me to disengage brain before inserting DVD or turning on television. I've never watched Gray's Anatomy, but from your post, his suggestion might be a good one. Hollywood obviously does not have much use for logic or for making sense.

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    1. Judy!!! Long time, no see. I honestly *try* to to disengage brain, but it just doesn't work if the errors are too egregious.

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  6. I know, right!
    Good obs,

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    1. Thanks, Bern. It's weird, I alternate between sobbing into my kleenex and saying, "Wait a minute, what the? *Why* is it *snowing*?!" to the cat sitting next to me.

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  7. Grey's has been driving me nuts for a couple of years, I keep trying to suspend belief but it is getting harder and harder. I was so confused in the season's premiere because the weird weather scenes kept making me thing I was missing something from a timeline perspective. On a side note why does everyone have to die? Can't some people just move away and escape a fiery and over the top end to their lives? But alas you are right, I just can't quit...

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    1. I don't know why they killed off Lexie. I know the actress wanted out, but I don't know why she just didn't move. They had to kill off Mark though. At least Shonda left that much character consistency. Mark would never leave Callie and Sofia willingly. I'll be on the sofa tomorrow night as usual. Sigh.

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  8. I'm so glad I don't watch that show.

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    1. I like the show. I just want it to be perfect and make sense. I also want world peace and a unicorn. And Daniel Craig. Something tells me I'm out of luck on all accounts.

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  9. You poor soul, I feel your pain. I too am reviled in my household when I point out logical flaws in a TV show or even at the cinema.

    Little things like getting a DNA sequence back in less than a hour from one of the CSI-type programs and when did you ever see a forensic technician investigsting a crime scene in high heels and a low-cut blouse, or even interrogating a bloody suspect?

    I've never watched the Grey thing, so perhaps I'm lucky.

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    1. Apparently I take after my maternal grandfather, who used to spoil movies at the cinema for my mother -- so I come by it honestly. I like CSI, but have to agree with you on the short turn-around time for DNA samples and crime scene staff being armed and making arrests/interrogating people. I guess if it was all pouring things into test tubes, the show's ratings would tank.

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  10. I am usually right on top of this sort of thing, but when it comes to Grey's, I turn a blind eye. I have nothing but love for the show, maddening as it can be - I'm with you, I could never quit it. It's my modern day 90210 (SO embarrassing - watched every season of that show, GAH).

    I did feel like the April scene was "off" but couldn't pinpoint why. You are dead right about the weather - also the Cristina scene with the coat was over the top, weather-wise. Still, the love blinds me to all slip ups of this nature.

    I was sad that Sloan died although I do understand Shonda's reasoning (and your own) that he would never leave his daughter willingly. I believe Chyler Leigh wanted her character to die, she and Shonda have given many interviews where they have said they came to this conclusion together. I say, meh - was never up or down on Lexie, except for that kick-ass alternate universe episode where she was a punk rocker - but I did not like the way she was killed so quickly, almost as an afterthought, while Mark gets a whole episode slavishly devoted to his glory. Not that he's not glorious, but really, some glory for Lexie too would have been nice, no? Maybe that's still to come.

    GOD, clearly, I need a friend to talk Grey's with as I have some serious pent-up chitchat. Sorry for hijacking your comments!

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    1. Oh Lynn, have you come to the right place. My friend Natalie and I discuss Grey's to death, and my friends Debby and Julie. You fit right in. The April scene did feel kind of off, didn't it. She had a pig on a leash for crying out loud. It looked like a grade 2 kid's picture of what a farm would look like, and she had Heidi hair. And has Owen never heard of a telephone? I'm sure he could have called and offered her the job.

      See? I could go on all day. I only bitch because I love. :)

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    2. Probably tweeting during tonight's episode: @Partyof3blog

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  11. Natalie10:20 PM

    I just watched! And I'm like Lynn... I can just let go of any need for things like weather to make sense. I just watch it for the ride. Even though I'm a scientific editor just like you! I guess I turn off the science part of my brain when I watch this... I just want to ENJOY it. (Especially since it's the only TV show I follow. Don't want to let a little logic get in the way!)

    Anyway...your points all make sense, Alison. But I think that sometimes logic is overrated ;o).

    Interestingly though, that season premiere barely got my eyes moist. Maybe because I watched on my laptop instead of on TV (stupid Rogers never On Demand...)

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    1. I still love the show, you know that. I *try* not to notice these things, but it's like trying to ignore someone poking me in the head. It just makes me mad that these are things that a little research, like I did in about 5 minutes on Google, could solve these problems and let me lose myself in the story without being jarred out of it by the inconsistencies.

      And even if you let the science stuff go, shouldn't there be more than two people who work at the same place at the deathbed of a much loved, 40-something man? Now maybe tonight's flashback episode will show all those missing people traipsing through his hospital room saying their final goodbyes while he's on life support and it'll take the wind out of my sails. I guess we'll find out tonight!

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    2. Natalie12:02 PM

      I guess I should qualify my response... I can let go of all that logic stuff while I watch it. But after I've watched, those nonsensical things bubble up to the surface: "Wait! Didn't Mark have a daughter...and a girlfriend?" You know, that sort of thing.

      This is where being slow serves me well in life. ;o)

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  12. I have only seen bits of this show, and that was years ago, before I lost interest. But, I would so watch it with you, just to mock and deride - in real time (so to speak).
    I love to watch those BBC period dramas and hearing about the lengths they have gone to make it so exactly accurate. Yet, I am sure the masses of viewers don't notice. or appreciate it nearly as much as they should. But those producers can at least be proud of their finished product.

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    1. I know what you mean. You're exactly right. You never saw Mr. Darcy whipping out his cellphone, did you? I like it when people take pride in what they present to the public.

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  13. You said everything I was thinking! LOL

    and last night...I cried even more!!

    p.s- I am linking your blog on mine! let me know if thats not okay!

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    1. Well, last night we did find out that Julia came to see him. So there's one of my problems dealt with. I cried last night too. Mark has never looked better. But Arizona is dead to me now. Dead. For the way she treated Alex. It was her decision to take him off that case and go on the plane herself, not his.

      I'd be happy to have my blog linked on yours!

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  14. Hilarious! This stuff annoys the hell out of me too on a LOT of shows. I don't watch Greys tho' and I'm glad I didn't start either because I'd be thinking the same thing. Only I wouldn't be able to say it half as well as you did.
    Loved it.
    :D

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    1. I'm glad you liked it. I just had to get it out of my system, lol.

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  15. I know this is old, but just a few things: 1. Mark's elder daughter's name is spelled Sloan and she doesn't have a baby anymore because he was put up for adoption. 2. He dumped Julia. 3. Addison was dealing with her very young baby and the death of her local friend Pete. 4. By his own words, his mom is dead and his dad is "never going to get off the couch again." So that explains why the only two people by his bedside were Derek and Callie.

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  16. And while it's not likely, it is possible to have snow in Minnesota while there's none in Ohio. And Shonda Rhimes is always the first to admit that the show is super timeywimey.

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  17. There is nothing wrong with being picky about the details. I have been watching Grey's on Netflix for the last 4 weeks. There are some situations that making me wonder about the scientific plausibility too. I sit and watch shows and nit-pick the details that make no sense.

    For instance, in the episode where the old doctor in MN gave Yang a ride to work in the snow storm, the green screen shot behind the car had no snow at all.

    More care should be given to some of the details.

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    1. Thank you Scott. :) I figure it's my blog, I can bitch about what I want.

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