Monday, October 22, 2012

Physics Mondays: the Tights Inequality

F1 > muw + ms


F1 is the downward force created by elastic rebound of stretched-to-the-max, so-called 'extra-long' tights,

muw is the coefficient of friction of the surface of underwear, and

msis the coefficient of friction of under the underwear
(I don't think it sounds very scientific to say 'coefficient of friction of my butt'.)

After walking back to the office from my car, I am about 30 seconds away from being part of an America's Funniest Home Videos pants-falling-down montage clip. 

Recent technological advances have made it possible to share photos and music wirelessly. There is a rover collecting rock and soil samples on Mars right this minute. You can buy bacon chocolate. Please tell me why modern science is UNABLE to come up with a pair of tights that don't keep plunging towards the ground with every step I take, as if they are being acted upon by some gravitational anomaly that accompanies me wherever I go.

Maybe we can get Dr. Sheldon Cooper working on this.


  1. I'd like tights that simply weren't too long, but I guess that's the hazard of NOT being a long-legged Amazon like you. :-)

    1. Right about now I'd take elephant ankles over downward-plunging tights. I wish they made them longer.

  2. Ain't that they truth???? I am so thankful I live somewhere warm so wearing tights/nylons is a rarity at best!

    Good luck finding a pair that fits.

    1. Sarah!!!! Nice to see you! If I lived where you live, I would never, ever, ever wear tights or nylons. Or probably pants either. It would be shorts and sundresses 24-7. :)

  3. Anonymous7:33 AM

    Where is the height variable? Mine fit comfortably under my armpits. Care to borrow a pair?


    1. You're right! The force would be inversely correlatable to the height of the body. See, I need more time to fine tune the math. And I threw out the idea of borrowing leg wear from you in about 1995.