Saturday, October 22, 2011

10 signs that I might be watching too much C.S.I.

OK, I'll admit it. I have a slightly disturbing obsession with the C.S.I. franchises. And maybe I've been watching too much. The signs? I mean besides making up my own hometown version: C.S.I. Carp?

1. I'm seriously considering wearing latex gloves to do the housework around here.

Like the laundry.

And cleaning the kitchen.

2. I've also thought that figuring out who left the half-full glass of milk on the kitchen counter that was knocked over by Max would be so easy if I only had a fingerprint kit. Because both girls deny it was them.

3. I've been looking around online for those special flashlights. Not because I need one, but because I want one.

4. I've been considering incorporating vests and lab coats into my wardrobe.

I think I could totally rock a vest.

5. I find myself wondering what the Windex budget for the C.S.I. Miami and C.S.I. New York labs is, seeing as they are composed almost entirely of glass.

6. I was using a pumice stone the other day on very dry, scaly feet and caught myself thinking, "Ooooo! Epithelials!"

(There's no picture for this one.)

(You're welcome.)

7. I've taken to standing with my hands on my hips a lot.

And taking my sunglasses off very, very dramatically.

8. I sometimes wish I had tweezers and an evidence envelope when cleaning underneath the dining room table.

9. I really like C.S.I. humour.

Really like.

Really, really like.

10. The clincher, when I realized that perhaps really do watch too much C.S.I., was a couple of days after I let Leah stay up and watch an episode of C.S.I. with me on DVD. I went down in the basement and saw a Barbie crime scene laid out on the floor.

Crap. What have I done?


  1. Ooohh, and a crime scene with dismemberment! No nightmare problems, huh?

    I love all those shows too, including Bones and NCIS. Blood, guts, and fingerprints would probably make for a more exciting day than rocks. :-)

  2. LOL, love the crime scene... Leah will go far.

  3. Excellent crime scene. Has Leah figured out whodunnit?

    I think we need to introduce you to "Chuck" at some point as an antidote to "CSI."

  4. The shit your girls do with Barbies gives me hope for the future.

  5. Anonymous9:24 PM

    You've created a monster. Don't let her watch Dexter.

  6. You should just grateful that you're not into Supernaturaly there'd be salt rings all over the place.

    (Aren't the flashlights, just mini-mag lights?)

  7. Cassi - Nope, no nightmares, but she did hide her face during some parts of the show.

    Big Brother - I figure she'll be writing for television soon. I really must blog one of her magazine mash-ups soon. They are hilarious.

    Jen - I haven't heard of 'Chuck'. Is it good?

    Allison - Yeah, me too.

    Jazz - I haven't watched 'Dexter' yet, so no worries.

    Nat - I haven't seen 'Supernatural' either. Salt rings? Sounds like that'd be hard on the vacuum cleaner. And yeah, they're just LED flashlights, but they're *CSI* LED flashlights.

  8. I got a merit prize in Forensic Medicine when I did my law degree, so of course that makes me prime CSI material. Can I be in your show? Even though my degree was over 20 years ago and they hadn't even invented DNA tests back then........

  9. Lynda - Of course you can be on my show. Bring a lab coat.