Thursday, February 11, 2010

Are you there chocolate? It's me, Alison.

Some days just defy description. On some days, you'd be just so much better off if you barricaded yourself in your bedroom with several bars of premium dark chocolate, a bottle of Bailey's, some trashy gossip mags and season one of Torchwood on DVD.

Some days find you realizing that Calgon just isn't going to cut it, and you start thinking, "Smirnoff, take me away!"

Some days find your daughter informing you that the next day is 100th Day at school and her project is due, a project that you vaguely remember reading about in the class newsletter several weeks previously, but didn't do anything about, like write "do a 100th Day project" on the kitchen calendar, leading to you finding yourself up at 4 a.m. hot gluing 100 googly eyes to a teeshirt, and 6 or 7 to your fingers.

Some days find you blearily noticing the blinking light on the electric toothbrush recharger in the predawn hours and thinking to yourself, "I'd better check my messages."

Some days find you filling the coffee maker with water, but forgetting the "put ground coffee in the filter" part of the process, resulting in a mug of hot, slightly brown-tinted water.

Some days find you talking on the phone early in the morning to a man with a sexy voice, but he's the CAA operator who's sending someone on a service call to your house because your car won't start.

Some days find you cursing at your inability to unlock your office door and then realizing that it's because you're using your house key.

Some days find you writing "Upwords, for Nat" on your hand in a vain attempt to remember to bring in a board game for the friend at work who always brings you home-baked muffins, and then washing it off and thus forgetting the game you *promised* to bring in, and then arriving at work and finding a note on your desk that says, "I brought you some home-made soup, it's in the fridge. N."

Some days find you sitting at your desk noticing that the two black socks you put on in the darkness of your bedroom are, in reality, a plain black sock, and a navy blue sock with a noticeable texture pattern.

I really wish all those some days wouldn't be all in the same week. Give a girl a break. And some more chocolate.


  1. LOVE. YOU.

    And really, I find Stolichnaya to be what the doctor ordered for these types of situations -- take two large-ish gimlets and call me ... well, very late the next morning. More like noonish, or one.

  2. Good grief. All that in one week? You need a break. And chocolate. Lots of that.

  3. It's the February Syndrome. Then you have the March Syndrome. Then, if you're lucky things get better in April. Or you have the snowstorm of the century

  4. least he wasn't coming to your car because your house wouldn't start.

    And you like Torchwood? We really must meet. Clearly we're meant to be together. You and me and chocolate, I mean.

  5. Natalie4:08 PM

    A lovely post. And I think your audience deserves to know that you always bring me homemade muffins too. And cookies. And even, sometimes, bacon chocolate (not homemade, though).

  6. Some days? Isn't every day like that?

    I forget what it's like to have a normal life :).

  7. Gleemonex - sounds like just the right Rx for what ails me.

    Jen - yep, more chocolate. Much more chocolate.

    Jazz - I don't think we're going to get any snow. I think the entire North American allotment fell on Jen on the Edge in Virginia.

    Biblio - What's not to like? We should totally do a drinks and Torch night sometime.

    Nat - Even though I did share some of my bacon chocolate with you, I seem to be the recipient of more baked goods than I bring in.

    Lynn - I don't know about every day, but most days seem to be like that.

  8. Oh yeah, and add this:

    Some days find you spending 25 minutes trying to find two legend units on a geological map face, to no avail, and getting more and more frustrated, and then noticing the legend notation: subsurface units only, which means they won't show up on the map face, but will only be on the cross-sections. EDITING FAIL.

  9. Very nice post Alison, I can so relate!

  10. You and I need to stop having the same weeks.
    As of 6:30pm Friday I will be toasting a better week for both of us with the strongest alcohol I can find in the house.
    Bonus? Its a 4 day week.
    Hugs xoxo

  11. We are so related. Torchwood will cure just about anything for me too (what is it about John Barrowman? He should be beyond irritating but he's ......not). And I once went to work and discovered halfway through the day (AFTER I got back from being in court, of course) that I had two different shoes on. One black leather, one navy blue suede.

  12. i too had one of these weeks. i even yelled at the sun "fucking sun!" when i was driving west bound on walkley the other day. it's just wrong to curse the sun.
    hope the weekend is better for you. are you taking monday off?

  13. Smirnoff, take me away. :-)

    And I heart Torchwood too. Have they shown the five night show in Canada yet?

  14. Anonymous10:53 AM

    If you need an evening out/away anytime, let me know. Poor baby.

  15. I want to pour myself a glass of wine just reading this. I thing I've done versions of everything on that list.

  16. "Some days find you realizing that Calgon just isn't going to cut it, and you start thinking, "Smirnoff, take me away!""

    Best line ever... I know exactly what you mean.


  17. Anonymous10:25 AM

    nice post. thanks.