Monday, January 11, 2010

Correspondence, again

Dear CBC Radio One,

Please teach Bill Gillespie how to pronounce the letter I. I was listening to him on the news this morning reporting on a story about the sentencing of two Tamil Tigers who attempted to buy stinger missiles in 2006 to use in the war against Sri Lanka and were caught in a joint RCMP-FBI sting. Bill kept referring to them as "Tamil Taggers", which makes them sound more like a couple of kids spraying graffiti on garage doors rather than terrorists. It totally distracted me from the story.

Grumpily,

Alison

P.S. I'm glad he wasn't the one reporting on the Siberian tiger that mauled his owner to death near London.

**************************

Dear Man outside of IKEA,

Your kind offer to help me back to my car with my purchases when I had clearly bitten off more than I could chew in the 'piling heavy stuff on a shopping cart and hoping for the best' category was much appreciated.

Chivalry is indeed alive and well and you proved that not once, but twice, when I assured you that I was fine to get the big box into the trunk, watched you go off towards your car, and then promptly dropped my box (containing a 4-drawer bureau) on the ground. There I stood, holding Rae's frozen yogurt, wondering what to do now, and I heard a car stop behind me. You jumped out and deposited the box in the trunk for me before resuming your trip out of the parking lot.

Thanks again.

Gratefully yours,

Alison

**************************

Dear Shen Yun Performing Arts,

I attended your show at the National Arts Centre with my seven- and nine-year-old daughters yesterday afternoon. I didn't realize that Shen Yun Performing Arts was run by the Falun Dafa when I bought the tickets. Not that that would have stopped me from going -- I'm no fan of totalitarian governments, and anyone who watches the news knows that the Chinese government has harrassed and tortured people for practicing this religion. But when I bought tickets for what was billed as "classical Chinese dance and music in gloriously colorful and exhilarating shows", I was expecting just that. Bright coloured costumes, synchronized dancing, leaps and tumbles. I got that, yes, but it was served with a side of unwanted political commentary.

I did not expect the propaganda (and yes, it's propaganda even when the good guys do it) along with the show. The dance routine showing the stylized beating death of the Falun Dafa woman in front of her young daughter by Chinese soldiers upset my daughter, and even the fact that the mom was whizzed off to heaven on the animated digital backdrop by some animated blue-haired Buddah guys riding what appeared to be celestial segways did nothing to make her feel better. Thanks for taking the fun out of a nice family outing. We won't be back next year.

Non-partisanly yours,

Alison

**************************

Dear person who put the sign up on Carling Ave. that says "Wine is the reason I get up every afternoon.",

Thanks for the laugh. I see that every morning on my way to work and it never fails to make me giggle.

Fondly,

Alison

**************************

Dear Stephen Harper,

Get back to work. Oh, and we are *so* not going to forget about the Afghan detainee thing and the way you and your minions tried to smear Richard Colvin's character for just doing his job. Nope, we aren't. Sorry.

Alison

P.S. Is that really your hair, or is it some kind of graphite composite, like they make fishing rods out of?

16 comments:

  1. i wonder if gillespie is from shawville? my mom (from shawville) also says tagger and it is like hot pokers in my ears when i hear her say it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Roaring. ROARING!

    Thanks for that. (heh. Do I sound like a Tagger??)

    A, you are so funny!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ha! I remembered NOT to be drinking grapefruit juice this time.

    (and sorry about the tag. I tried to pick smaller bloggers with fewer readers, but I needed seven and I ran out of bloggers). (Er, I mean people with smaller blogs. Sorry again).

    ReplyDelete
  4. Meanie - Maybe he *is* from Shawville. But still, the long I sound isn't hard to make.

    Days - Thanks. I think your roaring is more lion-like than tagger-like. :-)

    Allison - Nope, it's me that's sorry. I reread my comment on your blog and it sounded a bit petulant. I could have just cut and pasted some old answers into the comment, rather than what I did. Please chalk it up to dealing with Rae in a bad mood while answering comments. And I don't have a big blog, it's just that I've been blogging for some time now and seen these memes come by. I'll be better behaved in the future. I promise.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh Alison -- you were my very firstest commenter that wasn't directly related to me or begged or paid to comment. You'll have to try way harder than that to offend me. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous12:38 PM

    I will not approve on it. I think nice post. Especially the title-deed attracted me to study the intact story.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous - Thank you, I think. I will try to keep coming up with attractive title-deeds.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Actually it's a plastic helmet like Barbie's boyfriend - what was his name - had.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh my, you've had quite the week. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  10. That show sounds quite scary.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I want to talk about Stephen Harper's hair. I think he stole it from a taxidermist that specializes in woodland rodents. And if I'm right, his government could be in the kind of trouble you just can't get into simply by beating Afghans to death.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Stephen Harper.
    Hair.
    horrible.
    Your letters,
    funny.
    good post.
    :-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. HA! Those are awesome. And I like the wine sign.

    (Happy Delurking Day!)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Jazz - You're right! Stevie has Ken-head!

    Jen - You don't know the half of it!

    Capital - Most of the show was quite lovely. Beautiful costumes, well-synchronized dancers, great use of props like fans, lanterns and handkerchiefs, but they spoiled it with two political interludes. Pity.

    Lorraine - Thanks for visiting! Rodent Head. Hmmm, I think we have a new nickname. And I can only hope that people don't let him off the hook once Parliament resumes.

    Clippy - Thanks! And yes, the hair is horrible, but it's the arrogance that really offends me.

    Chris - Thanks! I love the wine sign too. Thanks for the reminder that it's Delurking Day. I've pinched your post and put it up myself.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I thought of Working for the Government but I was not insane
    Enough.Drink Candida Dry and then let it rain.

    ReplyDelete