Thursday, January 29, 2009

"So, you still, uh, reap around here, do you, Mr. Death?"

There are many questions that roll around in my brain when I wake up in the wee hours of the morning.

Did I close the garage door?

Do I have any clean underwear for tomorrow?

What was that noise? I'm sure I heard a noise. Did the cat make that noise?

Should I be worried that the people in Rachel's artwork look like acid-fueled Charlie and Lola stick figures with giant Monty Pythonesque stomping feet?

How am I going hook up the DVD player, the VCR, and the rabbit ears to a TV with only an antenna input? I could attach the rabbit ears to the VCR, and then run a cable from the RF output on the VCR to the antenna input in the TV, but what about the DVD player? And the switch box?

The last question is a direct result of my apparent debut as the Angel of Death, Appliance Division:

Last week, the dishwasher breathed its last. Two days ago, the hot-water heater ate the metaphorical salmon mousse. And yesterday morning, when I turned on the TV just after 5 a.m. to catch the previous night's The Hour while I sat and drank coffee made lunches for the girls and fixed my hair, all that lit up was a narrow band in the middle of the screen. The audio was fine, but the video was down to one line. It has joined the choir invisible. And the other, spare TV I had stashed in the basement doesn't have any AV inputs. Sigh.

I don't think these deaths are coincidental. I'm very afraid for my toaster oven.

I'm going to need a scythe.


  1. Maybe it's something in the universe, because we lost our hot water heater 2 weeks ago (still dreading the bill!) and our dishwasher is holding on by a thread. We have our VHS attached to the tv, and then the DVD attached to the VHS, but in our case it's because the dog keeps eating our remotes.

  2. I think they have them on sale on Canadian Tire ;)

  3. When you come to my house this summer, you are not allowed to touch anything electronic and now I'm not sure I'm going to even let you in the kitchen. In fact, I might just put a sleeping bag on the porch and hand you your meals through a window.

  4. Jen, I'm pretty sure I'm only the Angel of Death, Appliance Division (Canada).

    But as long as Pete hands me a mug of draft through the window with my dinner, the porch is fine with me.

  5. Holly: Yeah, I think they're at the back, near the snow shovels. Probably on sale now, as it's not scything season.

    Badness: Will try to hook DVD to TV via VCR ASAP by COB today. Hope it doesn't go FUBAR. TTYL.

  6. Don't touch that light switch!!!!!!!!!!

  7. We have (touch wood) not been visited by you for the last year :-)

    But when one goes - it does seem to be the sign for all to decide to visit the reaper.

    2 years ago, washer, dryer, dish washer, stove, even coffee maker (that was ghastly) and toaster all decided within months of each other that it was time to retire to Arizona or something.

    Maybe it is a supreme cosmic appliance thing .....

  8. Tom Sawyer11:47 AM

    Rent a hot water tank, chuck the electronics, and wash the dishes by hand. Make your own music.

  9. Guider: Why? *flip* *spark* *pop* Damn.

    Elliot: I forgot about the coffee maker. Mine died this summer, while I had houseguests. Crappy timing. That must have been an expensive year for you.

    Tom: I do rent the hot-water heater. I figure I can kill a rental just as soon as one I owned. And though I do spend most of my leisure time reading, rather than in the thrall of various electronics, I do have a slight Grey's Anatomy addiction. As for making my own music? That's something best not even thought about..

  10. If you are the angel of death to appliances, then that would make me some sort of low level sidekick - The Angel of Slight Chest Infections, maybe - to technology. Since I started my new job, nothing has exactly broken but every aspect of the office systems is working slowly/oddly/intermittently. I am not popular

  11. I think that's the way it always works. A few summers ago we had to replace the washer, dryer, refrigerator and the air conditioner all in one summer. Sucks how that always works out!

  12. You can get some doo-hicky to make your VCR attach to the antenna thingy; then attach the DVD to the VCR. That's what we do

  13. Becca4:58 PM

    Talk to Andy I'm sure he wouldn't mind popping by to see if he can tinker enough to make things work.
    WARNING: if you follow up on this you may want to send the girls on playdates as Andy will make his own music and it might be a little harsh and inappropriate for them.

  14. Just had a busted dryer for two weeks. And my watches frequently say times like four and a half o'clock. I feel so close to you right now...
    Hope you enjoyed your tv shows last night. And you're totally allowed to neglect your kids for it -- remember, a single mother's behaviour is always beyond reproach in my book :)

  15. Did allthe warrantees run out?

    I'm stil wrapping my head around the rabbit ear situation.

  16. I think the Reaper is lurking the taps in my master bathroom come to think of it.

  17. @Don Mills Diva

    Oh Yes - You **had** to remind me!

    our main bathroom tub has recently started this gawd awful caterwauling when in use (it has those little jet thingies)

    It sounds like a cross between fighting cats and cars grinding down highway guard rails!

  18. You look pretty badass in black. You're a nice mixture of goth and wispy runway fashion. I like.

  19. ROFL.
    Too funny hon. And I'll keep you company out on Jen's porch:)

  20. One word, or med, Lunesta. It makes all my worries go away, if not just temporarily while I sleep.
    I fear for your appliances too. I hate when one dies around here. It's such a production.

  21. Hey Alison, my Huz has a journeyman's ticket in TV repair. He said there's a problem with the signal loss on the vertical deflection circuit part of the TV. He asks what make it is. ('cause it could be the chip, or a transformer issue or a cupping or capacitor issue.) He says "If it's a decent TV it might be worth repairing."

    He's willing to take a look at it if we can hook him up with the TV. Drop me a line if you're interested.

  22. LOL! I hope it's not contagious!