Monday, December 08, 2008

Guilty secret

Every closet has its skeleton.

Every past has its dark parts.

Mine is no different.

Imagine if you will, a young impressionable woman moving to Toronto for her first post-university job. Leaving the sheltering arms of her family and moving to the struggling morass of humanity known as Hogtown. New friends, new environs, new ideas -- not all of them good. And, as sometimes happens, she fell in with bad company. She was led astray. Led down a dark and dangerous path into a subculture so dark and twisted, so egregiously wrong, that even now she doesn't like to think about those years she spent in its dark thrall.

But she struggled hard, renounced the darkness and moved away, into the light. It's been 12 years she's been free now, but still she keeps this as a warning, to remind herself of what she used to be:

That's right. A Leafs fan.

Oh, the humanity.


  1. Oh how fitting I am first!
    Then again you did email me to let me know what you were up to.
    I love it. Love it!

  2. As an American, I have no idea just how dark and twisted this secret is.

  3. Anonymous6:34 PM

    Jen - it's dark and twisted because the Leafs have never won a game in the history of hockeydom -- at least not in living memory. Go, Alison!!

  4. Nooooo!!!

    I am so not into hockey. oh god.. so not into it.

  5. Oooh, meanie!


    Go Leafs!!

  6. Anonymous8:06 AM

    Yeah, what Jen said :-)

  7. OK, let me translate this into American. Pretend you like NFL football. (And I had to look this up on the Internet, because I'm *so* not into football and don't know the rivalries.) Pretend that it's more than a sport, kind of a national religion for you. After growing up in a mid-sized city in Pennsylvania, you moved to Philadelphia after university and you became an Eagles fan. You were an Eagles fan for years. Then you moved again, you got a cool new job and moved to New York, where you realized that the New York Giants were a team superior in every respect. And since you were now a New Yorker, you realized you had to support your local team. You began to regret your youthful dalliance with those pathetic Eagles, indeed, you became ashamed to even admit you were once an Eagles fan.

    Feel free to substitute "New York Yankees" and "Boston Whatever Colour Socks". I don't do baseball either.

    It's like that. Only in a cool sport.

  8. Anonymous9:56 AM is a cool sport! Go Cowboys!


  9. The Sens? A team superior in every aspect?? You are last in the North East division right? Behind the Leafs??
    Not that the Leafs are far superior but we do have more grit and determination and not as many pretty boys. And we're less judgemental. When you realize the error of your ways Alison, we would love to welcome you back;)
    Plus - our logo is a lot better than some weird gladiator:)

  10. yeesh.. an ex leaf blower. good thing you got away from that or i would have to slap you i think

  11. I feel the need to keep stirring things up - Go Leafs again!

  12. OMG! I think an intervention is required!

    Go Oilers. ;-)

  13. My kids are all Senators fans. My husband is an absolute Leafs fan. I could care less either way. It's an interesting household.

  14. I heart Guider:)

  15. Go Tiger Woods.
    um wait... wrong post ;)

  16. You have been invited to The 1st Annual Ottawa Blogger Virtual Christmas Party!

    This virtual event is taking place on December 16th 2008.

    For more information on this event, please visit the blog.

    We hope to see you there!

    A & J

  17. Haha! But as you know, I am not Canadian, nor a Hockey fan. But still, I thought this post was really funny!