Monday, June 02, 2008

Newton, Murphy and me

Newton's First Law of Motion: An object will stay at rest or continue at a constant velocity unless acted upon by an external unbalanced force.
Newton's Second Law of Motion: The net force on an object is equal to the mass of the object multiplied by its acceleration.

Newton's Third Law of Motion: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
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Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong will go wrong (and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way).

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Alison's Law of Differential Mass of Purse Contents: Objects that you need to find quickly, such as car keys, will sink to the bottom of your purse, while objects that you would not necessarily want anyone standing next to you to see, such as tampons, will float to the surface of the purse when you open it and often will jump out and land on the floor.

Alison's Law of Dark Laundry Entropy: When you take the time to sort out the darkest of the dark laundry, and use the proper dark laundry detergent so as to avoid fading, you will inevitably fail to remove a kleenex from a pocket of one of the items being washed.

Alison's Law of Guest-Affected Propane Consumption: When you invite guests over for a barbecued dinner, the propane will run out halfway through cooking dinner. That same propane tank would have had sufficient propane in it to finish dinner if it was only for family, even if the amount of food was the same. Corollary: if you go out and fill a replacement tank against such an eventuality, you won't need it. The current tank will contain enough propane to finish dinner.

What laws operate around your house?

16 comments:

  1. Gotta laugh at your propane dilemma (sorry). Charcoal baby! It's the way to go!!

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  2. LMAO! We finally solved our propane issues and got a back up tank! (of course now we haven't needed it.)

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  3. Ha ha ha ha!!!
    I got one. Heidi's Law of old cat possession and sleep. On any other night my 15 year old cat will sleep soundly and quietly under the covers with me all night. But if I need to get up early the next morning, she will howl loudly every hour on the hour,as if possessed by some sleep stealing demon, ensuring no sleep for anyone in the house.

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  4. We have a back up tank too. Of course we grill out like 4 or 5 times a week during the summer so I always have to have a back up. And I always forget to check the pockets when I do laundry. The worst is when Riley leaves her chapstick in there. That will make it through the washer just find but once it hits the dryer it ruins a lot of clothes.

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  5. I have no laws at all chex XUP. Crap just happens randomly. if there were laws, I'd know what to expect. So, really you're lucky to have so many laws.

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  6. Love these rules. Pretty sure we have all of them here.

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  7. I hear you about the laws of propane.

    I've got one that says if you have enough children, you WILL get the one who writes on the walls, or cuts her hair.

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  8. If you stash cash in your vehicle for "emergencies", your husband WILL find and take it without telling you, and then you'll be embarrassed at the fast food drive up window when you have NO money and no debit card because you didn't bring your purse because you weren't going to need it because you had $20 in the truck.

    Yeah.

    And the propane thing, too. Every time.

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  9. How about stashing 2 tampons in your PERSONAL desk and having your President flind them out for everyone to see while you are off in the ER?

    Thanks for the laugh:)

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  10. here's the law was tried tested and true at our house last night:
    child misbehaves, mom gets angry, doles out (overly harsh) punishment, a few hours later child breaks out in fever, mom feels guilty for rest of her life.

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  11. I think your laws are pretty universal!

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  12. I have a magical bottomless propane tank. Seriously. When my oldest daughter was turning 10, we had a backyard barbeque birthday party. I went out and bought a backup propane tank in case the existing one ran out during the party. It never ran out. And I mean never. That same daughter is now 14, and we're still on the same tank. And we cook out fairly regularly during the summers.

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  13. Always. Always. Always. I always run out of propane!

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  14. Anonymous12:12 PM

    Maggie's Law of Kitchen Sink Capacity: For every quantity of dirty dishes washed and removed from the sink, an equal part of dirty dishes will immediately appear in their place

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  15. I agree - the propane tank law is universal.
    I have the same dishwasher law with a corollary - the laundry law.
    Sumita's Law of Playing Hookey From Work - When you plan to call in sick at work to run errands, an unexplained illness will befall you preventing you from finishing any of the stuff you wanted to do.

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  16. I have magic dirty laundry baskets. As soon as I empty them and turn around, they're full again. I'm now working with a team of researchers trying to figure out how to convert the laundry to cash.

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