Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Canada and the U.S. are still friends and we were not disrespectful to the nun within her hearing

So, I invited my friend Jen and her family (from Virginia) up to Ottawa for a visit. Jen's family and mine have vacationed together four summers now, and it was her turn to visit me, see our beautiful capital city, and check another UNESCO World Heritage site (the Rideau Canal) off her list.

But what I didn't expect was that my mild-mannered American friend would almost cause an international incident by trying to smuggle a knife into the Centre Block of the Parliament buildings! (da da DA!) Well sort of...... OK, not really.

Actually, it was an innocent mistake. She had forgotten about a small Swiss Army knife in her purse and had it confiscated by security on the way in. She was issued a chit to pick it up on the way out. We teased her a bit (OK, a lot) as our tour group (which included visitors from all over Canada, the States, Iran, the Philippines, and a trio of tiny, elderly nuns from Italy) moved from room to room.

When the tour ended, Jen was able to retrieve her sharp, pointy weapon teeny-tiny Swiss Army knife from the security desk at the exit. Waiting in line in front of her was one of the elderly Italian nuns, who turned in her chit and was handed a small, sharp pair of sewing scissors by the security guard manning the desk.

As soon as we were out of the nun's earshot, Jen turned to me and her husband and said, "That nun has a shiv." We all but collapsed laughing, and, inevitably, following the verbal template of this post, said, in unison, "This nun WILL cut you." Of course, the only logical way to follow this was to head across the street to a chip truck for some poutine, slog through an unexpected thundershower with the children back to the minivan, and then set off in search of the Beavertail stand in Byward market. That's just how we roll.

By four thirty, we were safe at my house, towelling off and enjoying a rum and coke, and still saying 'shiv' out loud occasionally to make each other laugh.

I hope making fun of a nun isn't too bad a sin.

Jen's far, far funnier recounting of these events can be found here.


  1. Anonymous2:39 PM

    It's only a sin if you're catholic. They're fair game for anyone else.

  2. Whew! I'm safe then. :)

  3. Am I really mild mannered? :-)

  4. I just snorted the last one of the beers that Pete brought up here out of my nose at that comment. You rock. Hahahahaha

  5. As a recovering Catholic who attended an all-girls Catholic high school - mock away. I never trusted even the ones without shivs.

  6. It was fun reading of your adventures on FB. You've had quite a summer, my little maple leaf! You and Jen would be such fun together!

  7. Heather, Jen and I do have a lot of fun together, you know, when I'm not trying to poison her. I wish I had an opportunity to visit the US NW, I'd love to meet you.