Thursday, February 14, 2013

Well played, Facebook. Well played.




It's Valentine's Day, and since I haven't blogged since Christmas I thought I should mark the occasion with a post.  A post about Facebook.

It seems these days that Mark Zuckerberg or one of his many, many Facebook drones is taking an unseemly amount of interest in the fact that I'm single. 

I've noticed over the past few weeks that the ads for Dr. Oz's diets, Air Wick air fresheners, and vacation resorts in Puerto Vallarta appearing next to my news feed have been replaced with ads for dating sites.  Awww, Facebook is worried that I'm lonely.  (Yeah, I know, it's nothing personal -- the fact that I ticked off 'single' in my profile sets off an algorithm that populates the ad space with dating-site ads.)  But still. The variety of ads is amusing and maybe a little disturbing.

First of all, they started with the largest possible dating pool: single men.




No thanks. I don't want to meet single men. At least not online. But hey, thanks for asking.

Then they realized I'm a bit more discriminating than that, so they countered with a site advertising 'high-quality men'. 


(Because really, a girl has to be assumed to have *some* standards, and presumably would not be clicking on ads for 'low-quality men.')

Yeah, no.

Ok, they must have thought that maybe I'd like to hook up with someone old enough to know who Blondie was.

(Once, after getting my hair cut and dyed blonde, I said to my young, attractive styist, "Thanks, this looks great!  I look just like Debbie Harry!" "Who?", he said, wrinkling up his adorable forehead. "You know, the lead singer from Blondie?" *blank stare from big brown eyes* "Um, nope." Gah!)



Nice try, but still no.

OK, they upped the ante romantically: French men?


Non. Je pense que non.

OK, time to try some other niche markets. How about tempting me with a tattooed boyfriend?




Unless it's Adam Levine, no.

Faithful single policemen seeking a second chance at love?


Why can't I get them for the first chance at love? And why just policemen? Why can't I browse the faithful single accountants, management consultants, radio personalities, or cowboys?

Oh. Never mind.


But still, no.

You have to respect the imagination inherent in this, but I still wonder about the success of a marketing ploy that figures if photos of real, attractive-ish men won't do the trick, maybe women might respond to stick figures. 

  

And here's my answer.  In stick figure font.


(Wouldn't it be hilarious if some guy I met on this site came to my house and found that I *was actually* a stick figure with a triangular dress and no hands?)

(Not that I'm even remotely stick-like, sadly.)


But then Facebook finally did it. The algorithm finally kicked out something that speaks to me.  A hook that might be really, really hard to resist. 




Well played, Facebook. Well played.






19 comments:

  1. Oh GOSH it all looks so utterly horrible. It is so easy to be a man whereas women have to deal with all of us HORRIBLE men,some of them with all that crap on their faces, ick! Well, as a straight guy, I s'pose it is obvious I would say that when looking at your choices there...

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    1. You are right. It's pretty horrible. Which is why dating sites are not my cup of tea. Or glass of wine. :)

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    2. Anonymous11:44 PM

      Oh Al your Mr. Rights still sitting at lori's bar, you know with the blackened teeth , your cousin from another cousin lol

      Delete
  2. That is one perceptive algorithm. I am waiting to hear from you that the next site is "Daniel Craig Lookalikes who own vineyards"

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    Replies
    1. I really hope so. I would sign up so fast it'd make your head spin. :)

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  3. You know, half way through this, I was just convinced you'd made all these up. No? Talk about niche markets!

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    1. I didn't have to make any of that up. Those are all screen shots from my Facebook news feed page. *shudder*

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  4. Well played, indeed.

    Happy Valentine's Day.

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    Replies
    1. Happy VD to you too. :)

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  5. Antynorton10:55 PM

    I'm there for the "Daniel Craig lookalikes who own vineyards"

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    Replies
    1. Well, there better be at least two of them. You know, for the sake of our continued friendship. ;)

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    2. Antynorton12:46 PM

      Very true!

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  6. I get the same ads but rarely see them since I primarily go on fb on my ipod of phone.

    Fun post!

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, that is the advantage of FB mobile. But some of the ads are worth reading for the amusement quotient. :)

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  7. I've been getting a lot of single sites too. But I'm not marked down as single. Though I would probably get a divorce for a Daniel Craig lookalike who owns a vineyard.

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    Replies
    1. I think the line for Daniel Craig lookalikes who own vineyards forms right behind me.

      Maybe FB is worried about your marriage.

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    2. I just got a new one today:

      Find amazing single men at Senior People Meet.

      I take exception to the SENIOR

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  8. Natalie10:34 AM

    Great post! I wish the fb ads I get were as entertaining as yours.

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  9. That's hilarious! Those ads annoy the hell out of me. My ads consist of wrinkle solutions, fat solutions, debt solutions, and how to get a pardon!?
    :-)

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