Friday, July 06, 2007

Is it just me?

Or does everyone:

  • have a car whose interior resembles a mobile landfill site/Salvation Army collection box/toy library*?

No word of a lie, I just took the following out of my car: two hoodie sweatshirts (kid size), a Bratz doll, a Polly Pocket boot and purse, an empty McDonald's french fry bag, two popsicle sticks, an apple core (ewwwww), a ripped-up coloured-on page from a colouring book, a chewed-up wad of gum (I threw out my gum, honest, Mom), a ripped road map of Ontario (grrrrr), 4 kleenexes (kleenices??), 2 french fries, 2 King Tut sarcophagus happy meal toys from Wendy's (they always have the coolest toys), a small mauve unicorn with a Barbie-hair mane, a Tim Horton's bag, and a drinking straw.

  • have a laundry room where the piles of clothes look like a relief model of the Rockies?

I really think that David Suzuki oughta do a Nature of Things special on my laundry room. No matter how many loads I do, there is always more. It's breeding, dammit! Who knows, maybe he could capture time-lapse photography of a litter of baby socks being born, or teeshirts mating.

  • who resolves to lose a few pounds get seized with an uncontrollable hunger 5 minutes after making the decision?

Yep, thought there was a bit too much muffin top going on with the jeans I was wearing. Told myself sternly, "Self, it's salads for a week or so to get this under control". Immediately, and without really being aware of what I was doing (body reacting to threatened diet and going into self-preservation mode), I found I had somehow had taken the box of Jos. Louis out of the pantry (bought for special treat for the girls and rationed) and consumed 3 without noticing. The only clues were the 3 empty wrappers and the chocolate crumbs on the carpet. (Clarification, they were the half Jos. Louis, not the whole circle ones -- I'm not a *total* pig.)

  • feel like they can never get ahead of the housework, and their houses are where entropy goes to practice?

Seriously, I can't keep my house tidy for more than half an hour at a time. As soon as one room is cleared, a tide of Littlest Petshop figures, Polly Pocket shoes, hair and Lego pieces washes in and laps around my ankles. Not to mention the lawn that grows fast enough to track with a radar gun that needs mowing every 48 hours. Sigh.

  • on Facebook who wants to find old University friends and work buddies have friends with names as common as dirt?

Yeah, you try finding Dave Evans, Nick Gibson, Suzanne Scott, or Trudy Miller when you don't know where they're living now or if they're even *on* Facebook. I've been reduced to 'friending' my nephew and my girlfriend next door, for Pete's sake. I might as well have gone to school with a bunch of John Smiths.

*I'm just looking for agreement here. If you were planning on commenting on how you a) never allow your children to eat in the car, b) always have a garbage bag/tasteful garbage container with matching wipes in your car, or c) have perfect, mess-free children, don't. Just don't. I'm looking to preach to the choir with this post.


  1. I feel your pain on everything but the car - don't have one at the moment.

    Teenage boys cause your fridge to become the plave where food goes to disappear; laundry rooms that generate more clothing than could possibly be worn in 2 days and a bank account that spits dust out at the ATM.

    Hope you have a good week end :)

  2. I, too, lament the laundry room disaster. And my husband and I were just looking for his cousin, Andy Daly, on Facebook. yeah, right!!

  3. Anonymous9:04 PM

    I have perfect, mess-free children.

    do you believe me? ;-)

  4. Everything you said sounds exactly like me. My van is so bad that my brother suggested taking it to a car wash, taking out the seats and just using a shovel to scoop all the trash out. And the laundry is a never ending thing. Sometimes I feel like the kids out grow there clothes before I even have a chance to wash them.

  5. I think you just described the inside our both of our vehicles (only substitute girly toys for trucks and spiderman figures)

    And laundry-oh man, don't even get me started. I do laundry all week long and then do all the folding on Sunday nights. This is helping me to keep my sanity, although Mt. Laundry takes up the entire surface of my king size bed. UGH! And then most times after folding everything, it just sits in the laundry basket and I pick clothes out of there each day.

    I feel your pain sista!

  6. I don't allow eating in my car and I have trash can and wipes.

    My freaking kids always end up doing it anyway and I use the wipes are piled under the heaps of trash!

  7. Jilly5:54 PM

    If you remember - we used to call our car "the garbage wagon" [grin]

  8. *raises hand, hangs head*

    Uh yeah. Me too. All of it.


  9. Yes, yes, yes, yes, and I'm not brave enough to get started with Facebook.

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