According to Rachel: 'How Boys Think' edition

Rachel, calling me at work when she got home to share some exciting news:

"You know those farm animals that we made in art class?? Well the class voted on whose to enter in the Carp Fair, and mine won! The girls told me that mine were soooo good. Rebecca and Aliya and Kate said they were good and Kate said that she heard that even the boys thought they were good, and it’s pretty rare for boys to like art, they mostly just care about Minecraft and inappropriate things and mud."

(Sadly, the cow's nose fell off. Perhaps that factored into the judges' decision to award her only a participant's ribbon.)

Just 3 steps?

As near as I can figure, from this helpful illustration that popped up on Facebook, the '3 Steps to Make a Man Love You' are as follows:

1. Move to a futuristic city with amazingly long fenced-in walkways and no signs of highways capable of supporting vehicular traffic.

2. Fashion some underwear/hotpants and an asymmetric crop top out of aluminum foil.

3. Convince a large number of young men to a) line up along the walkway, b)remove their shirts, and c) eat the undercooked chicken that you've prepared, so that salmonella causes them to fall in artful piles of jeans-clad masculinity.

I'm on it.

Just as soon as I stop at Loblaw's for more foil.