F1 > muw + ms
Where:
F1 is the downward force created by elastic rebound of stretched-to-the-max, so-called 'extra-long' tights,
muw is the coefficient of friction of the surface of underwear, and
msis the coefficient of friction of the...um...skin under the underwear
(I don't think it sounds very scientific to say 'coefficient of friction of my butt'.)
After walking back to the office from my car, I am about 30 seconds away from being part of an America's Funniest Home Videos pants-falling-down montage clip.
Recent technological advances have made it possible to share photos and music wirelessly. There is a rover collecting rock and soil samples on Mars right this minute. You can buy bacon chocolate. Please tell me why modern science is UNABLE to come up with a pair of tights that don't keep plunging towards the ground with every step I take, as if they are being acted upon by some gravitational anomaly that accompanies me wherever I go.
Maybe we can get Dr. Sheldon Cooper working on this.
